Happy Birthday to you! Even if it's not yet your birthday. Our most sincere wish to you is that eventually it WILL BE your birthday. So, to help you celebrate your own, or better yet, someone ELSE you truly care about's birthday, we, the Rubber Chicken Card party people, have created too many Happy Birthday ecards to send to EVERYONE you know. Even the ones you don't REALLY care that much about, but, you do it because you're a better person than they are. Oh, go on, admit it, you KNOW we're right!
So now we are going to quote a bunch of sage people, starting with that oracle of wisdom herself, the self-made actress/talk show hostess/media mogul and all-round cable network empresses, Oprah Winfrey! Who (according to birthdayquotes.com) supposedly said, "The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate", which SOUNDS EXACTLY like something the "Divine Miss O" would say, even if she really didn't in real life. Oprah's birthday is on January 29th and we have a Sweet Chicken animating egreeting that would be PERFECT when and IF you send it to her. In fact, if you do send one of our RCC Birthday eCards to "O.W.", we're PRETTY SURE she'd make it one of her FAVORITE THINGS! Provided she still does that segment on her show. And provided she still has a show to do it on. Another possibility could be that once she gets a Rubber Chicken Birthday eCard from you, she'll no doubt include a link to in in her very popular, and highly respected (are we kissing up to her too much?) O MAGAZINE! The only way we'll ever know for sure is for you to go ahead and send it to her and then wait and see. And while you're at it, send one to yourself and everyone you've ever met. "Play it forward", as the kids say. They still say that, don't they, Oprah?!
Our next shameless, name-dropping quote comes from another well-known, wise-beyond-her-years "celeb-u-tante" who we can GUARANTEE has never received a Rubber Chicken Birthday eCard before... from ANYBODY! "Whom", do you ask, is the one given credit for being the FIRST to ever say, "The way I see it, you should live EVERY DAY like it's your birthday"! Yup, you guessed it, none other than, Paris Hilton, (her birthday is February 17th)! And not to put too fine a point in it, but it's probably MUCH easier for Paris to live her life like EVERY frickin' day is HER birthday, then it would be for you and us, who are mere...how should we put this delicately? "NON-hotel-heiresses". That said, should Paris Hilton ever actually READ this, we would like to sincerely say to her first and foremost, "Happy Birthday, Ms. Hilton, we hope you enjoyed our animating eGreeting and please don't sue us for slander or libel!"...And then we'd like to say, "Help, Oprah, HELP!"
So if you ARE waiting for the lights to change, then it's OUR turn to be totally honest here, so here it goes: sure, we're propagandising to you how much our crowd-pleasing Rubber Chicken Birthday eGreetings will absolutely MAKE the day of your birthday boy or girl! By now, that's pretty well established, but we are also trying to impress a non-human entity, namely: Google's Search Engine! Or as it now likes to be called, "the algorithm, 'formerly known as', the Google Search engine". However, unlike "Prince", Google's search engine doesn't simply use shallow SYMBOLISM, oh no, that wouldn't be IMPRESSIVE enough for Google! No, its algorithm now uses an ACTUAL lump of 24 karat gold in the shape of a 30-meter-tall dollar sign. A modest moniker,no?! But returning back to us being HONEST. As anyone who's birthday's worth celebrating will tell you, the process of improving the visibility of one's website is based on how well "ranked" each of one's web pages is/are. At least in terms of one's "natural" or un-paid ("organic") search results goes. So we're trying to give the them as much info as we can about each of our categories and use our Rubber Chicken eCards name as much as we can. Of course, if you wanted to, you could put in a good word for us. We'd appreciate that. And we'll reciprocate, just as the great poet, Steven Wright ( his b-day's Dec. 6th), once said, "I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday'". So, good luck figuring THAT one out, Google algorithm! If you need help, call Paris Hilton! And, again, we STRESS, "please don't sue us"! Thank you and happy birthday, everyone!
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