Bar Mitzvah ecards: It takes a lot of study and effort to prepare for a Bar Mitzvah, and though most boys get some serious gelt as a recompense for their efforts (and blessings from God and the community) the pinnacle of blessings is to receive a Rubber Chicken Bar Mitzvah ecard. Yes. It is true. The official Rabbi of Rubber Chicken Cards, Moshe, has blessed these ecards Bar Mitzvah so they are drenched in love and sweetness.
Here is the beauty of the Bar Mitzvah, in fact all rites of passage. The thirteen year old Jewish boy is like any other thirteen year old boy. Does he want to spend 3 hours on a Saturday going to Hebrew School? Heck he does!! He doesn't want to be playing baseball, the Israeli national sport. Nope he wants to study. What does he get for this sacrifice? What does he get for going the extra mile, learning a language, and preparing to be a man? Gifts, of course, but more importantly, the little guy is now, after his ceremony, a man. Something happens in the temple that is not a small thing.
This is an important day. Could be the day of all days for a young man. With this new found sense of himself, the young jewish man will probably not join a gang or sell heroin on the street. He will, in most cases, have a real profession with a job that requires a business card.
The role of this ecard is voiced by the great standup comedian Steve Mittleman, one of the funniest men alive. Here is a brief bio of Steve: Steve Mittleman was born without a chin. It got weaker from there. It haunted him his whole life. When he was sad about it, people would ask, "Hey Steve, why the short face?" It used to take him (only) 3 - 4 hours to change a pillowcase. Then, Steve was asked to be on Extreme Makeover and was given a remarkable chin, 2 clefts and 9 dimples. His sense of humor remains intact as long as he can find it. Oddly, now that Steve is easier on the eye, he's doing voice-over work. Steve also smells like stucco which ABC used when he had his plastic surgery mistakenly done on Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Steve writes, acts and travels the country doing standup for corporate and Jewish events.
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