So you're a tad late. What is SO darn special about being "on time?" Why is that SOOOOOOOO important? What is the BIG deal???? Personally, we think getting ANYWHERE AT ALL REMEMBERING ANYTHING these days is a blinkin miracle!
If you were "On Time" for EVERYTHING what happens to "SURPRISE!!!!!!" or "THANK GOD YOU MADE IT!"? And exactly how are you supposed to rememberEVERYTHING that is happening or TOO LATE! in this over infomercial inundated Age? Multitasking DOES NOT improve one's memory and is perilous to the perception of Time passing. Didn't you JUST send a bottle of Brunello to Bernice?
Panic pours over you as you halt and thinking,"What's today? The date? OMG! Was Lisa's birthday LAST FRIDAY? Lovely, luscious, laughing Lisa????? Gut wrenching. Of ALL the people to forget! Of ALL the people not to nod in with. Then as you try to breathe you think, "exactly when was the last time your flight from LAX left per its printed schedule? How long have you waited for a straight forward burger at Barney's Barbecue And Beyond? A refill for your coffee? Iced tea? WHEN have you NOT been stuck in traffic? Trapped in the unexpected 5 block long lines to the prequel of Vegas Rap Babes I, II and III?"
But when you do remember you've neglected to send cheers to Charlene or Edwin or Fred? When you recall you have forgotten to forward felicitations to a beloved friend on their birthday you know you are a complete and utter jerk. Cathy has been your best friend FOREVER and NEVER EVER missed sending you flowers or something superlicious on your special day. Or Doug who was your brother's best man at his first wedding.,,,and second - and brought everyone Valium to the third? How could you NOT remember such treasured peoples birthdays?????
There are a myriad of reasons to be belated. ALL legitimate. Sometimes it just can't be helped. An unexpected appendicitis. A summons. Contractions. These things can happen to any and everyone.
Well fear not! We here at Rubber Chicken E Cards have THE PERFECT SOLUTION! Our belated birthday cards can be sped across the internet the moment you recall that you've forgotten and besotted salutations can be shot to your beloved ones the moment you hit "send". Frannie Furball coughs up gobs of congratulations. Cowboy Bob warbles winning solicitudes. Psych Chick summons forth spirits of love and devotion. And the ever wise and wonderful Guptah gives bountiful assurances that EVERY day is EVERYONE'S birthday for ETERNITY!
So be assured your belated greetings are completely covered with appeasing and endearing exclamations of joy, love and happiness for your ever so cherished chum, beloved buddy, charismatic compadre, conscientious confidente, sidekick, associate, even your brat of a brother. WHOEVER it is you want to assure you adore! We've got you covered! And really, try to remember - better late than never!
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