Rubber Chicken Cards

Dieting eCards (1)

  • Health and Diet - "Guptah"

funny greeting cards for diet

Thanks for Nothin'

So your best friend Carli gave you a membership to Weight Watchers�®. And your second best friend Joyce gave you a membership to Nutri-System�®. And your third best friend Sam gave you a membership to Jenny Craig�®. And your fourth best friend Max gave you a pound of See's�® Candies (for those of you not in Southen Cali, "See's�®" is a Los Angeles�© thing, if you've never heard of it, don't worry you're NOT missing anything... our apologies to Mary Seeâ?¢)!

EGreeting Cards for Dieting and Weightloss

Just Do It ( �© 1976 Nike Corp.)

How about Bev and Rob who held you while you cried and told you that they love you just the way you are and that you are beautiful inside and out which in turn gave you the confidence to dig out your Nike's�© from under the piles of clothes you can no longer fit into, put them on and hit the pavement!

Up, Down, In, Out...Repeat

Okay...so maybe you only got as far as the mailbox and back before fainting but hey...it's a start! Yes we here at Rubber Chicken Cards are VERY familiar with the ups and downs and ins and outs of personal circumferences and the horrible "katwang" sound the scale makes when it hits tilt and dies under the mere impact of your big toe forcing you to go to Target�© and buy an identical scale to replace the one you just crushed so you won't be found out.

I'm Talking to the Man in the Mirror...or Woman
( �© 1990, Estate of Michael Jackson)

Right. The most important thing you must remember is that you are loved. And that you will always be loved whatever size image you see in the mirror or in any of those damn glass windows EVERYWHERE at the shopping mall.

Note To Self: Remember to Remember

You must also remember that every step you take is a positive one. Even the ones to the refrigerator...so long as you are reaching for delectable sweet carrots...a ruby red apple...a handful of baby red tomatoes or some ice cold water. These things are all delectable and will assist you to being healthy and happy.

An Apple-tini with Double Hot Fudge Sauce

The occasional slip up of cake or a grey goose martini cannot stop you for you know you are fabulous and that you have the will and the patience and the fortitude to become a size 10. We know - we know - all those size zero models out there looking like tissue wrapped praying mantis' with augmentations...and those dudes with washboard "whatevers" â??it's enough to add 20 pounds worth of cortisol induced fat on anyone.

You Gotta Have Faith( �© 1980 George Michael )

But we have faith in you. We have faith in your desire for a healthier happier you. So eat some salad. Drink some H20 and have a piece of chocolate. All of which are good for you and remember sweetums...you are as big as your heart and as irresistible as your spirit.
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