The idiots at Rubber Chicken Cards only like Tax Day because we see it as a day to laugh. Do you laugh because it is funny? No. Do you laugh because you are giving an institution, like the government, your hard earned money so they can sit around and call each other names? No. You laugh because it hurts, because the existential craziness of working hard so that you can give money to the state and city so that they can spawn more parking meters that steal your money is just hysterical.
Here at Rubber Chicken Cards we celebrate Tax Day by - actually, we don't celebrate Tax Day. We have to work in order to pay taxes.
Here is a short Rubber Chicken Card History of Tax Day: In the year 1878, way before the turn of the century, the President of the United States, Daniel Day Lewis, reached out to all the citizens of the United States and asked them if they would pay a little bit of their hard-earned money so that he and his insane wife, to be played by Sally Field in the upcoming movie, could take a trip to Florida to get away from the horrible winter in Washington, D.C. All the people in the US at the time said, "Yes." And that was the beginning of the tax and the beginning of the use of tax monies for personal vacations. THE END
We thought that you might like to see one of our scripts. Below is the actual working script for The Muse Tax Day.
Hello, this is Gonzalez, your Muse. Today is Tax Day. Though we don't want it to be tax day, though we wish that no day was tax day, it is still Tax Day. And because it is a day of pain and of the stupid, you really, really, need your Muse, me, Gonzalez , to make this day a creative day.
On Tax Day we take our hard earned monies and give them to people who don't really seem to care about us very much. They spend this money on wars and researching how bunny saliva can stop the onset of unsightly psoriasis. We would like to keep this monies and buy lunch at the local taco truck.
so on this day, I say, let's make a fiesta of blessings. We look at our lives and we say, "This is good, that is good. I like the new flowers, spring is here, summer is coming." We say this. And if you say, "I cannot be happy on Tax Day." I say, "you can." You say, I Can't. Yes. You can. Come on, let's do this.
Have a Happy Tax Day!
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